A Needle in a Haystack

By: Bella Carbone

 When I began my educational career at Northeastern, I thought I had my mind set on becoming a lawyer post-undergraduate school. I had been learning about law throughout my high school career through the Law and Public Safety program at my school. The thought that something else may be my passion was off the table because I had believed I would have wasted too much time on the subject of law to “give up” on it. So, I came into Northeastern studying a BA in History, Law, and Culture with a concentration in Gender & Sexuality Studies. This concentration path singlehandedly changed my life and career goals.

Under this path, I took the course Reproductive Justice with Professor Margot Abels. This class and Margot have had a deep impact on my passions as well as the rest of my studies at Northeastern. It was the first time I had been exposed to Women’s studies and feminism in the classroom. I truly felt like I had unlocked a superpower in my life because for the first time ever I had someone in a position of power affirm how I felt as a marginalized woman in society. I was finally able to put words, theories, and ideas to feelings I had felt, but had never been able to outwardly voice since I had always felt shut down, rather than validated when I did express anti-patriarchal views. Alongside this class I took another course called Race and Social Justice in American Film, where I would first read the works of bell hooks and critically analyze media in a scholarly setting. Dr. Laurel Ahnert, my professor for this class, made this course engaging and eye-opening. I absolutely adored these classes and it showed. I always did the readings for these classes first, I talked about what I learned with friends, I found myself critically questioning the oppressive systems present in our lives, and I genuinely applied class content to my every day life. Learning became something I enjoyed again and these classes helped me prevent burn out because of the heavy law and history classes I was taking due to my major. 

I began taking more women’s studies classes like Sex, Gender, and Pop Culture; Digital Feminisms; Gender Expression and Sexual Orientation; Gender, Crime, and Justice; and Gender, Justice and Transnational Activism. These classes fueled my craving for feminist academia. I devoured each reading, lesson, and theory fulfilling myself in the process. I finally felt like life had purpose and meaning, which was fighting for liberation for all people. In order to make change on this world, I knew I had to follow this desire for doing feminist, activist work. Further, I declared a minor in Media and Screen studies which led me to courses like Gender & Film; Media, Culture, and Society; Understanding Media; and Lighting Design. I began broadcasting weekly on WRBB Radio, our campus station (and my personal campus safe haven), for my show “We all need to chill out.” I also began recording and uploading a critical media analysis podcast inspired by content I was learning in class. I began taking media associate positions in clubs and taking up graphic design in my free time. Media analysis, music curation, and content creation became my creative outlet here. Without these courses, I would never have gotten involved in these extracurriculurs which strengthen my drive as a creator and student. 

Overall, from my courses and studies at Northeastern, I now know this belief I once held is not true. There is no such thing as wasting time by leaving a career path that will not fulfill you for something that truly gives your life meaning and purpose. Even if that means feeling like I let down people such as my dad, who has been preaching to me about the financial security and power that the title lawyer would have given me. The satisfaction and empowerment I feel from feminist media studies would trump any ammenities that come with the title Lawyer. I know that whatever I do in life, I never want to stop learning, reading, and fighting for women. Without my Northeastern education I would never have been exposed to any of the authors, books, and content that has radicalized me and affirmed me as a queer woman in a truly liberatory way. I can never be grateful enough for that power as it is what gets me up in the morning!